Rosie O’Donnell Must Really Hate Foreskins

In 2014, Rosie O’Donnell made an appearance at the iconic Zanies in Nashville to perform her stand-up comedy routine. I went with my husband and a group of our friends to enjoy what I thought would be a fun-filled evening. And for the most part, it was. Rosie was hilarious as she always is, sharing her brand of sharp political commentary along with everyday stories about her life.

To my surprise, and disappointment, there is one topic we drastically differ on: circumcision. During her comedy routine that night, she shared a detailed story about the day she brought her son home and the unfortunate “mistake” her doctor made when he didn’t circumcise her son. The audience roared with laughter as she described her panic. She needed to have her son’s foreskin removed immediately. The way she described it, you’d think her son had leprosy.

She went on to explain how she called up her Jewish celebrity friends and they put together an emergency bris to get rid of her son’s foreskin as quickly as possible. Everyone gathered at Rosie’s home, food and drinks were served, and everyone had a good laugh about it while her son provided the entertainment as a vital part of his sex organ was cut away.

I was horrified as I sat there in the audience, red faced and sick to my stomach listening to Rosie’s story. Rosie has always been a pioneer for women’s rights, fighting for equality and fair treatment.

Why—why Rosie—would you hypocritically promote and laugh about the act of making a permanent alteration to your son’s body without his consent when I’m certain you would protest if the subject was female circumcision? It doesn’t make sense.

That evening, I posted about it on Twitter. I was not rude or confrontational. I asked a legitimate question in hopes it would open up a healthy and mature dialogue with her. She did not respond, and actually there wasn’t much activity surrounding the post. Six people retweeted it and a handful more actually saw it. That’s not a surprise, of course. I am by no means a Twitter celebrity. This is the tweet:

I'm so disappointed Rosie O'Donnell made jokes about her son's circumcision tonight at her Nashville show. What about his rights? @Rosie #i2

— Foreskin Facts (@ForeskinFacts) March 1, 2014

I figured, oh well, I tried reaching out.

Fast forward nearly three years later. There’s been a lot of talk this week about Rosie appearing on Saturday Night Live. I think that would be excellent and I was planning to go to Twitter to post my support. That’s when I realized she had blocked me.

Wow.

#i2
I just found out I've been blocked by @Rosie for *politely* asking her to reconsider her pro #circumcision stance. That's disappointing. pic.twitter.com/fQJjdzw1PM

— Foreskin Facts (@ForeskinFacts) February 10, 2017

To my knowledge, nobody has ever blocked me on Twitter, especially not a celebrity. I guess I should be honored just to be recognized by Rosie…?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t truly disappointed by it. Aside from the circumcision subject, Rosie is someone I’ve always admired and respected. It would be nice if she had at least considered having a thoughtful conversation with me and who knows, maybe I could have showed her a different perspective?

Rosie, I hope by some strange twist of fate, you’ll see this blog post. Every human deserves to have their body respected. It’s that simple.

Thankfully female circumcision has been banned in the United States and women here will never have to know what it’s like to have their sex organs modified for cosmetic purposes, as they are in some other countries. Unfortunately men are not offered this same protection.

If you really look at the subject thoughtfully, I think you can see that these arguments are one in the same. Baby boys should not be modified, just as baby girls should not be modified. You could become our most vocal advocate if you’d just open your heart to our cause.

“Bad Moms” Body Shames Intact Men

The movie Bad Moms is coming to U.S. theaters next Friday, and today the studio doubled down on promoting a scene that characterizes intact men as “gross.”

“What if I find a guy who’s uncircumcised?” asks Mila Kunis in the Pinned Tweet on Twitter.

“Run out of the room screaming. It’s like finding a gun in the street. Just scream and get out of there,” warns Kristen Bell.

The studio also released an exclusive full version of the scene to Buzzfeed. We see the film’s three stars have a graphic conversation about how to deal with a foreskin. Buzzfeed staff writer Krystie Lee Yandoli describes the scene as “freaking hilarious” as she gives a play-by-play of the scene using animated gifs.

“Uncut guys are great,” says actress Kathryn Hahn in the scene. “They’re always so nice to you because they know their dicks are gross.”

Different variations of the clip have been spread across social media in the last week, all of them focused on the act of running away from an intact man. It seems the studio is banking on Americans’ disgust and fear of foreskins to drive the success of their film, and today they have amped up their efforts.

So it’s a joke. What’s the big deal?

On the surface, this may seem like a harmless joke at the expense of men. After all, men have been suppressing women for decades—centuries, really. So what’s the harm in a few dick jokes, right?

As it stands, female genital mutilation is illegal in the United States. If you give birth to a girl, there will be no box to check on your hospital paperwork that asks if you want her circumcised. There will be no doctor or nursing stopping by your room, asking if you’d like your daughter to have the surgery. Even if you wanted it, no reputable doctor would perform it.

Little boys are not offered this same protection. If you want to have your newborn son strapped down on his first day of life, and have his penis surgically cut apart, all you have to do is sign the papers. Nobody will make you feel guilty about it. There will be no accusations of child abuse, no visits from childrens’ services. You might even get a pat on the back.

Modifying a female’s genitals is seen as a violent act of abuse in the United States, yet treated as “routine” for males. That is why it is not funny. That is why it should not be a punchline in a movie, and certainly shouldn’t be a center part of the film’s marketing campaign.

And that’s exactly what Bad Moms is doing—promoting the act of male genital mutilation by making it clear to American audiences that the intact penis is something gross and shameful that should be avoided at all costs.

Let’s promote a future of genital integrity and end body shaming.

In 2016, people are working very hard to end body shaming. People are working very hard to promote equality for men and women everywhere, to be treated fairly and with respect, regardless of a person’s gender. How can we build a kind, respectful culture if we continue to make fun of men who are intact?

I am urging everyone who cares about genital integrity to share this message on social media. Thank you.

View the full scene here:

The Shy Guy’s Guide to Coming Out as an Intactivist on Social Media

I recently received this message from a reader:

Nathan, how do I tell family and friends on social media that I’m an Intactivist? I want to pledge my support for genital integrity, but I’m usually a very shy and non-confrontational person. What do you recommend for social media?

That’s a great question, and that same question had been weighing heavily on my mind too. I don’t share very much of myself on social media. I prefer to keep my personal life private and only the people closest to me know how I truly feel about things. They already know I’m an Intactivist and I’m fine with that. It’s not my desire to share all of myself with the Internet.

But it’s also compelling to think that a simple post by me could change someone’s views on circumcision. They might actually perk up if I’m the one who said it, because they’d know I’m someone who doesn’t post very often. When a very private person shares something, people tend to notice.

Well I’ve found a simple solution for shy guys (and gals) everywhere. There’s a new campaign that’s been spreading rapidly called #IfIWereABoy (If I Were a Boy).

The concept involves women holding up a piece of paper, declaring that if they were born a boy, their parents would have cut off a vital piece of their anatomy. The simple yet powerful campaign brings the imbalance of children’s rights to center stage. It’s illegal to circumcise a newborn girl in the United States, yet it’s considered legally and socially acceptable to circumcise a newborn boy. The messages help women think about how terrible it would be to realize that if they were born a different gender, they would have been cut too.

I love this campaign because it’s effective, yet non-confrontational, and it’s easy enough to understand at a glance, proving that a picture really is worth a thousand words.

I’ve Liked the page on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/ifIwereaBoyintact). I also Like posts from the page daily, which will show up in my Activity feed for family and friends to see. My hope is that this can send a message out about how I feel and if someone wants to learn more, they can click over to the page and learn for themselves at their own pace. If they have any questions or want to hear more about my personal views, they can always send me a private message and we can discuss it.

This seems to be a reasonable approach for shy people to take, and I think it could be a good strategy. I admire people who wear their heart on their sleeves and put it all out there, but at the same time, I know that’s just not who I am. I hope the new #IfIWereABoy campaign will help others come out as an Intactivist, and I think it’s a very powerful campaign too. It’s already received worldwide attention and is growing daily. Thank you to the women who got this movement going.

Related links:

– If I Were a Boy (Facebook)
– If I Were a Boy (Tumblr)
– If I Were a Boy (Google+)

Men Need to Stop Bashing Feminists

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend lately from male intactivists. They seem to have a deep hatred of women who identify as “feminists,” and bashing them opening in forums and social media appears to be accepted behavior.

Here’s the problem: It’s pure ignorance to make sweeping assumptions about any group of people, including feminists.

I think it’s human nature to look for patterns to justify our anger. It’s easier to lump together all feminists as “the enemy” because the stereotype fits nicely into a box. But I should warn my fellow men that sweeping stereotypes are destructive and damaging to all groups of people. Think of stereotypes about gay people, black people, Jewish people. Do you really want to demonstrate the same offensive behavior as bigots and racists?

The truth is simple. Some women support infant circumcision, others don’t. The same is true with men. Yep, there are men out there who support circumcision too. Weird, right?

You can’t say that ALL feminists support circumcision because it’s not true. I personally know feminists who have children and chose to keep their sons intact. That’s why it’s so ridiculous to make generalizations about any group of people.

I understand why men get angry. A vital part of your anatomy was taken from you—without your consent—and you need somewhere to target that negative energy. Feminists seem like an easy shot.

Maybe you’ve had a bad experience with a feminist. Maybe you got into an argument with a self-identified feminist on a forum. She was hell-bent on her beliefs that women had the right to choose whether their baby was circumcised, and she believed you were taking away her rights by telling her what to do with her child. This is sad, but it happens.

But please understand that her views do not represent ALL women, or ALL feminists. They simply represent that woman’s views (which are deeply misguided).

I’m not asking male intactivists to stop fighting for children’s rights. I’m just asking them to be mindful about making sweeping generalizations. It isn’t wise to bash any group of people. It really just makes you look as foolish and judgmental as the group you’re criticizing.

I support equality for all. This is why I am a peaceful intactivist. If a woman wants to circumcise her son, I’m going to have something to say to her about it, but it has nothing to do with her being a woman. I am only concerned about what’s fair to her son.

Men: Focus on the argument you’re trying to make, and stop blaming it on the person’s gender. We can open up more hearts and minds if we work to build a unified message for genital integrity, without the burden of stereotypes.

HBO’s Series LOOKING Pushes Myths About “Dirty” Foreskins

The second episode of HBO’s new series Looking focuses on a gay man’s anxiety about sex with an intact man for the first time.

The episode, which is titled “Looking for Uncut,” is filled with the typical uneducated stereotypes about foreskins being strange, foreign, and dirty. Series director and producer Andrew Haigh (who is British) missed an opportunity to squash myths about foreskins and hygiene, and rather than using the episode’s plot line to have an open conversation about intact men, Haigh opted to fill it with 30 minutes of the same garbage we’ve all heard before.

“Looking for Uncut” opens with lead character Patrick (played by Jonathan Groff) talking to his friends about a Latino man he’s been seeing, named Richie (played by Raúl Castillo). This prompts Agustín (Frankie J. Alvarez) and Dom (Murray Bartlett) to begin joking about Richie being “uncut”.

“You know he’ll probably be uncut if he’s a real Mexican. Are you prepared for that?” Agustín quips.

Patrick asks, “Prepared? What’s that supposed to mean? You make it sound like I should take an evening course.”

“It’s true,” Dom chimes in.

“I’m just saying—it’s a whole different ballgame down there,” Agustín warns.

[As we all know, intact men are an alien species from an unknown planet. They don’t function the same as normal Earth men and they require an intricate and complicated ritual in order to handle the odd growth on the outside of their penis. I would recommend wearing gloves and a gas mask to protect yourself from their stench.]

To prepare himself for this foreign encounter, Patrick does an image search for intact Latin men. The results are both shocking and baffling as he stares at his computer screen. What am I going to do with that weird thing? he seems to be thinking.

During his date with Richie, Patrick is visibly anxious about the prospect of an intact penis. He drinks heavily, rambles and gets flustered, and tries to rush things to the bedroom so he can get it over with.

When Patrick pulls off Richie’s pants, he’s audibly relieved to learn that Richie is circumcised.

“I just thought that, you know, maybe you’d be uncut,” Patrick says. “I’m a sucker for cleanliness, so this is actually much better.”

Let’s all celebrate! Patrick didn’t have to dig through miles of stinky, filthy folds of skin to get to Richie’s penis. It’s a miracle that Richie’s parents cut off his foreskin so lazy, stupid partners wouldn’t have to figure it out. Whew!

Joking aside, I really am disappointed by this episode. Looking has been labeled a gay version of Sex and the City, and I can’t help but recall a pitiful anti-foreskin episode from that series, which aired in 1999. I’d hoped that 15 years later a new HBO show would be more evolved about its portrayal of intact men.

In closing, I say jeers to Looking for continuing to push the myth that foreskins are dirty and strange. The fact is that foreskins are healthy, natural, and 80% of the world’s men are intact. The U.S. population has steadily seen sharp declines in circumcision since the 1990s, and Looking missed a great opportunity to reflect those males, who are now in their 20s and are saturating the next generation of American men.

Much like the tired, regurgitated stereotypes Looking portrays about all gay men being obsessed with drugs and anonymous sex, it missed the mark by clinging desperately to outdated myths about the foreskin. I really expected more from a British director and producer. FAIL.

I Am a Peaceful Intactivist

There’s an old saying which goes: “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

I find this to be true in many situations, including the topic of intactivism.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term “Intactivist,” it’s a combination of the words “intact” and “activist.” An Intactivist is a person who promotes putting an end to circumcision, particularly the circumcision of newborns.

Most Intactivists get furious about the topic of circumcision—and rightfully so! It’s unfair and unwarranted to circumcise a newborn child, who obviously can’t give consent to having a vital part of his penis cut off, and I don’t support it.

But I know that if I want to really evoke change in this world, I have to do it with a cool head and a loving, compassionate heart.

It always comes down to love, doesn’t it?

We all want to change a parent’s mind about circumcision, right? Find a parent who was thinking about circumcising his or her baby, and enlighten them. Just imagine the joy we’d feel if we could save one baby from going under the knife!

There are many ways to pursue this goal, and some Intactivists pursue it with aggression. They scream at the parent, “You monster!” They throw around colorful words, such as “mutilation” and “barbaric.”

Again, rightfully so! Circumcision is mutilation and it is barbaric. But we also have to keep in mind how this looks to the parent. That is the person we’re trying to reach, right?

These aggressive scare tactics can make us look like extremists, or worse yet, raving lunatics.

And how do we usually treat lunatics when we encounter them? We look the other way, tune them out, avoid eye contact. This is not the ideal way for parents to perceive Intactivists because it means they will ignore our cause. Game over, case closed.

Appeal to a parent’s heart to win them over

An expectant parent is living in a world of baby showers, little socks with puppies on them, a quilt made by Grandma, and Ikea dressers that they put together on a sunny Sunday afternoon. This magical world is protected by a bubble of baby bliss.

When you chase someone down with a 20×16 inch poster showing a close-up of a bloody baby penis, you just look like a monster. The targeted parent(s) may be so shocked that they block out the entire image and fail to realize the correlation with circumcision.

After all, childbirth itself is pretty messy, and while they probably saw a video showing all the graphic realities of pushing a baby out of the body, it wasn’t enough to scare them away from getting pregnant. So what makes you think a photo of a bloody penis will scare them away from circumcising their son?

This is why I take a more sensitive approach to discussing circumcision with parents. I like to paint a picture for them of that newborn baby boy. Can you picture this with me?

10 teeny, tiny, perfect little fingers and 10 toes that you just want to put in your mouth and nom, nom, nom… A little head of wispy hair that’s soft like cotton. The cutest little nose, filled with little boogies, but they are the cutest little boogies you’ve ever seen.

Yes, a newborn baby is the sweetest creation, and he will turn you into a sentimental mess. You’d do anything to protect him, right? You never want him to feel an ounce of pain. And he’s perfect, isn’t he? Perfect and pure like newly fallen snow.

“Bring your whole son home,” I say to the parent.

With a caring smile, I go on explain that circumcision is painful, and there’s no need to inflict pain on him. I tell them about the bloody bandages they’ll have to change with dirty diapers.

If I really have the parent’s attention, I may ever so gently tell them a few stories about babies who’ve had their entire penis amputated due to a doctor’s mistake. (“You wouldn’t want to risk that, would you?”) If they’re still listening, I might even point out that there are babies who die from circumcision. But again, do it compassionately. Don’t yell it at them like a madman.

It’s the same premise with a gentler narrative

I am still working as an Intactivist. I am still warning the parent about the risks of circumcision and essentially making the same points as angry Intactivist makes. But I’m doing it with honey; doing it peacefully. This is how I win parents over, change minds, and save babies.

I can’t say this approach is better than the angry one. What do I know? I’m just a man, like any other man. Maybe the angry Intactivists do change minds.

But for me personally, I prefer to be a peaceful Intactivist. I believe that if I can get myself into the good graces of an expectant parent, he or she will be more willing to sit down and listen to what I say, and will be receptive to the points I make. I hope my story helps you as you decide what kind of Intactivist you want to be.

Peacefully,

Nathan

Botched Circumcision Leaves Infant with Partial Penis

I shared this shocking story via the ForeskinFacts Twitter a few weeks ago, but it bears repeating again on my blog.

Earlier this year, when Maggie Rhodes took her three-month-old son Ashton in for a “routine” infant circumcision at Christ Community Health Center in Memphis, the doctor botched the surgery and removed part of the baby’s penis. Worse yet, the hospital sent the suffering infant home without anesthesia and without informing Ms. Rhodes of the error. This poor baby was sent home with a diaper filled with blood and the little guy was screaming his heart out. (Click here to read the full news story.)

I feel so bad for Ashton and the hard live he’s going to live, and it was all completely preventable. He was a healthy little baby brought in for an unnecessary surgery, and although I’m sure he’ll be awarded something in a lawsuit, I don’t think any amount of money will make up for his loss.

These types of circumcision horror stories illustrate exactly why I encourage all parents to think twice about having their son circumcised. This was a 100% preventable mutilation. Don’t take a healthy baby in for a surgery he doesn’t need. It’s not worth the risk.

I urge all parents and parents-to-be to really think about how precious and perfect your little bundle of joy is. Think about how much you’ll love him and want to protect him from the world. You would never want him to suffer any harm, would you?

In this case, you don’t have to. Your son is born healthy and happy, and if all goes well for him, he won’t need any kind of surgery for a very long time. That is the beauty of how nature designed our bodies. Newborn children are perfect the way they are. They don’t need a part of their organ cut off like some spare part.

Please bring your whole son home. Ask yourself how you could ever ask forgiveness from your son if he suffered the same fate as poor little Ashton in Memphis, Tennessee.

Breeding an Angry New Generation of Circumcised Men

Here’s a question for parents who promote circumcision: Would your son be angry with you if you did not have him circumcised?

He’d still have his foreskin, and odds would be low that he’d choose to be circumcised as an adult. But if he did decide to get circumcised, it would be his decision and at least you’d have the peace of mind knowing he wasn’t angry with you for forcing the decision onto him.

Anger is a common emotion when circumcised men come to terms with what happened to them. Every day, I read heart-wrenching true stories on blogs and forums, written by circumcised men who are now furious with their parents for cutting them without their consent. Some are so angry that they’ve stopped talking to their parents. They feel mutilated and violated because they didn’t get a choice with their own body.

It’s so sad because it’s completely preventable. If you don’t have your infant son circumcised, you don’t have to worry about the consequences of making a permanent alteration to his body. That’s a reasonable request: Let your son make the decision about his own body.

A new generation of angry young men

I’m really concerned about this new breed of parents who promote circumcision. They are active on Twitter, Facebook, and blogs. They adamantly insist it’s the parent’s choice for circumcision—not their child’s choice.

Men like me have dealt with our anger about being circumcised. I don’t hold it against my parents because things were different back then. They didn’t know circumcision was a choice. They didn’t even realize they had options. It was just common, so at least I can write it off as them being misinformed. I accept that they didn’t know any better.

But these new parents are fully aware of the option to not circumcise their son. Not only are they choosing to circumcise him, but they are actively encouraging other parents to do it too. They are purposely inflicting this on their sons.

When their sons grow up, they will learn about the damage circumcision causes, just as I did. But this new breed of young men will have to grapple with the fact that their parents actively pushed for this. There will be no excuses to fall back on. These young men are going to be furious with their parents!

I encourage parents to think twice

I know you love your son. I don’t doubt that for a minute. He is your world and the bond you have with him is magnificent; something bigger than words can express or describe.

Please consider the possibility that he does not want to be circumcised. Imagine your world crumbling some day when he realizes the choice you forced on him. Imagine all the stories out there from angry men who did not want to be circumcised, and now imagine your son being one of them some day.

Do not make a senseless choice that could tarnish your bond when he grows up. Leave your son intact and respect his body, please.

Let’s not breed an angry new generation of circumcised men. A world where sons don’t want to talk to their parents is a world no parent wants to live in.

reddit Thread About Foreskin Sensitivity

There’s a very interesting discussion posted on reddit about foreskin restoration, which asks intact men to describe the most sensitive parts of their penis and foreskin. The responses give a diverse and unique overview of what men can expect to gain with foreskin restoration, and what areas they’ll see the most improvement with.

One of my favorite responses was from a user named nigglereddit, who gave a detailed description of how the foreskin is like the eyelid, and how uncomfortable and dry our eyes would become if our eyelids were cut off. He says:

An intact foreskin is about as sensitive as your eyelids (although not quite) and feels much the same. In fact it performs much the same purpose: it protects another, still more sensitive part of your body.

With an intact, natural foreskin, the tip of your cock is very sensitive, so much so that you wouldn’t want to handle it roughly. The foreskin protects it from that kind of contact. But the foreskin also allows you to rub and stimulate it without damage or pain.

Think about it this way: if your eye is itchy, you don’t peel back your eyelid and rub your eyeball, do you? It’s too sensitive. But closing your eye and rubbing the eyelid back and forth – man, that feels great, right? Same thing.

Now think about this. Take your eyelid, pull it away from your eyeball, move it around a bit. Try it now, please, it’ll help you understand. Now imagine cutting it off. Just grabbing a pair of scissors and cutting off your eyelid. How would that feel?

And how would your eyeball feel? It would slowly get dryer and would eventually stop hurting, but would it really be “okay”? And would you really say you weren’t missing anything?

So next time you think or talk about circumcision, close your eyes for a moment and think about your eyelids. That’s the closest way to understand how it feels.

Hat tip to miamee on the Restoring for Men forum for re-posting it.

Foreskin Facts Gets a Mobile Update

The new site has been getting some great feedback via Twitter! Thank you to everyone for your positive words of support and encouragement.

The mobile version has been launched today, so the articles should be easier to navigate on phones. I realize a lot of people visit the site via their smartphones, so I want the mobile experience to be a breeze to use.

Mobile is still a new and changing landscape, so there may be so bugs on certain phones. Please tweet me @foreskinfacts if you run into any problems.

Thanks and stay tuned for new and updated articles about foreskins and circumcision.