Discussing Foreskin Restoration with Friends

Talking about foreskin restoration with friends can be a tricky topic.

On one hand, I want them to understand my mission and why it means so much to me. But on the other hand, I am generally private and don’t discuss anything related to sex with friends. So I feel like I’m crossing several boundaries at once. That’s also where the lines get blurred about what circumcision really is. It’s not just about sex. It’s about human rights. I try to approach it from that angle.

One conversation in particular comes to mind. It was with a female friend who I’ve known my entire life. As a gay man, I suppose I’m given a little more leniency with discussing these things as it could have been especially awkward if I were straight. I don’t even remember how we got on the topic, but when I first told her I was restoring my foreskin, there was a noticeable shock in her expression.

“Ewww, why would you want to do that? Foreskins are gross,” she responded.

I felt my blood pressure rise instantly. Why are some women so quick to dismiss foreskins? It seems very common with women here in the U.S. Well I tried to keep my cool and continue on with the conversation, although I’m sure it was obvious that I was a bit worked up.

“Have you ever been with a man who has a foreskin?” I inquired.

“No, but they just look really weird. All that extra skin. Yuck.”

Whew, I needed a cigarette and I don’t even smoke!

“Okay, first of all, they aren’t gross,” I said through clenched teeth. “And second, it’s a man’s body. You don’t want anyone making choices about your body. So why is it okay to just chop off part of a man’s dick without his consent?”

She wasn’t trying to be rude. She really didn’t have any negative intentions and I was trying to understand that. She was just completely misinformed about foreskins. It’s that simple. She had a very strong opinion about something she’d never even experienced.

I finally lightened up and we had a good discussion about the benefits of a foreskin, why circumcision is destructive and unnecessary, and what my process has been to restore my foreskin. She was very intrigued by the conversation and she wanted to know all the routines and products I used. When her boyfriend arrived home, she could hardly wait to tell him what we’d talked about.

I’m still not sure if I completely won her over on the subject, other than the intrigue of learning that you can grow new skin on your penis. Since she’s in a committed relationship with a circumcised man, I really don’t know if it will make much difference unless he decides to restore his foreskin as well. But she does plan to have kids someday, so there is definitely opportunity to revisit the topic.

With that in mind, one lesson I’d like to take from this is to not get angry so quickly. People are misinformed and we can’t be mad about things they don’t understand. The first step is simply having the conversation. If you can get them to be open minded enough for that, you’re making good progress.

The next step is to win them over as a supporter and encourage them to make informed decisions when they have children, as well as to spread this information with their friends who are having babies. It takes time and patience, but it’s a conversation worth having. I’m definitely glad that I opened up a little and shared this personal information with her.

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